There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
