the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
