We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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