I just saw a hot homeless man
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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