dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
