It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
