just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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