tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
