At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
