We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
