I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
