This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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