he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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