he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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