How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
