So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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