I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
