If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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