And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
