No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize