you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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