I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm lost and stupid without you.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
