It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
