So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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