alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
