what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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