everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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