We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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