I could have mohawked her pubes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
