Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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