I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Alive.
So much puke
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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