I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
