Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
