She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize