My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
