cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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