I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
