so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
