hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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