I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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