Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
