I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
