did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
