We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
