drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
