butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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