She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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