4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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