Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
