I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
