I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
