Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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