Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize