My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
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