I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
