Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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