I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
