The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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