I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
