i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
