Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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