She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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