At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
