Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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