Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
