What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
