He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
