i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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