Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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