I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
