a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
