Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
