so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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