Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
